Bigger, better, fatter, harder

Well hello strangers.
Firstly, I should apologise for not posting anything in bloody ages!
If anyone actually cares, I have no excuse to give. I simply lost focus slightly and amazingly never seemed to have the time to update my random ramblings and rantings.
That and facebook it has to be said.
Its the real culprit here.
The real shame is that last year was literally thee best year ever for stuff to talk about. So many monumental things happened it got quite surreal at times.

Amongst all the headlines, 2011 was the year that:

Japan was practically  washed away
Charlie Sheen lived up to his name
A bloke in Norway went fucking crazy
I got kicked off and let back on facebook
A naked guy went mental in my street
I could no longer get the News of the world
Wullie and Kathy got married - I was there
The Arab spring turned out not to be mineral water
The mouse returned to rule the roost in my house
(he's still here)
In the case of Michael Jacksons death - the black guy was guilty
Londoners got fed up and fucking wrecked the place
The bird that sexually killed the other bird in Italy got let off
Hurricane Bawbag was born
Wee Gamu was finally allowed to stay here - Thank god for that!

But I still think THIS was my favourite headline of the year.

A few folk passed away in 2011 too.
Too many to mention obviously but lets not forget we lost:

Jimll Saville
Hightower off of Police Academy 1-6 (not 7 strangely enough?)
Betty Ford - (natural causes apparently)
Jack 'assisted suicide' Kevorkian - Irony anyone?
Heavy D off of Heavy D and the boys
(apparently the boys were inconsolable)
Amy Winehouse - Hats off for not dragging it out any longer.
(Keith Richards take note)
And of course Big Al Megrahis mate Muammar Gadaffi

Anyway, new year new you and all that.
This year I intend to get totally focused again.
Im gonna start ranting on here and not on facebook.
Im gonna get rid of my unsightly beer belly.
Im gonna get married.
Im gonna move house.
Im gonna be the man.
Baby steps right enough.
Anyhow, happy new year y'all it's good to be back.
Lets do this again real soon.

Anyone else have any resolutions they wanna add?